In too deep.

Sometimes life throws us curve balls. In all honesty I feel that when we are really following Him, we are thrown lots of curve balls. Cause lets be real, there is nothing the devil detest more--- then us living fully, whole heartedly, passionately for Him. The amazing thing about our God, is that he uses all our messiness and all our trials for good. He uses it to make us stronger, to make us more Christ-like, to make us grow and experience things that in the end we would never change. The world would tell you, “your in too deep,” but there is nowhere else we should be. Diving deep into life. Sometimes even to the point of treading water to glorify the Lord.

Right now, I’m treading. I have my mouth enough above the water to breath--- but enough of me submerged below to require full and utter trust in the Lord. Its hard. Its tiring. But its full of more blessings then I ever imagined.

Yesterday, we listed our house for sale. No, our new house has not begun construction yet. No, we have no idea when it will. But we are committed to downsizing. To moving to a place in life with less space, less stuff--- and more focus on His Glory. We want to be able to spend freely to bless others. We want to spend time in our home playing with our kids and teaching them about the Lord---- rather then constantly cleaning and “keeping up”. We want to manage our family, not our home. Through this we have been so incredibly blessed. I have amazing in-laws who are letting us live in their finished-garage, during our “in-between” time. Seriously, they are generous crazy enough to let myself, my husband, my 20month old daughter and a newborn live with them--- for an uncertain amount of time.

Just when when the world told us--- “youre in to deep.” Selling a house, moving, having a baby, moving again--- all with lots of uncertain timing. The Lord said--- “you’re not deep enough.” You’re trying to plan, you’re trying to prepare, you’re not fully trusting me in this.

Enter our curve ball.

Friday night I was sent to Labor and Delivery. I was sent there for what we thought was my water starting to break. Praise the Lord my water didn’t break and doesn’t appear to be leaking. However, I am already slightly dilated and contracting on a regular basis. After some testing there is some reassurance that Baby B “should not” enter the world during the next week and a half. However, with my progression and history of an early baby some lifestyle changes were required. This mama is now on minimal activity. That’s right, as little activity as possible, with a 19month old. Funny joke, huh? But once again we have been showered in blessings. People offering meals, offering to come play with our crazy fun loving girl, and offering up lots of prayers. We are grateful, we are overwhelmed, we are blessed.

So yes, by the worlds standards--- we “are in too deep.” Some may even say we are in over our heads. But I think we are right where we are supposed to be. Scare and overwhelmed. But right where we are supposed to be. We are in deep waters, we are treading. I am being stretched to accept more and do less. However--- I feel more blessed then I have in a long time. There is a popular song on Christian radio called “Oceans” by Hillsong. Its fitting for this season in life.

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”

I must state that I would not feel this blessed--- if God hadn’t gifted me with an awesome husband. In the last three days, he has prepared our house to sell, stepped up and taken on the role of daddy and mommy, cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more--- and most of all supported me unconditionally. I am so very blessed and in love with the man I married. I am a very lucky woman--- and more aware of that then ever before. So Matthew, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are a man of God and over the past few days---- you have stored lots of treasures in heaven!

 

And because a post doesn’t feel complete with out pictures--- here are a few taken on my phone.

Nothing better then listening to your baby’s healthy heartbeat, while sipping on hospital ice and cranberry juice!

This is from today--- I came out of the bathroom to find my husband and quietly come in and made the bed. If you lived in my house--- you would know what a blessing this was. Yes, I cried. I blame it on the hormones.