Its becoming real.

Plain and simple--- it’s becoming real. I am more and more aware with each passing day how our lives are about to change. Everyday Baby B becomes more active, almost as if she it is trying to escape. Everyday Hannah becomes slightly more clingy, almost as if she realizes Baby B will be escaping soon (changing her life forever).

When I was pregnant with Hannah---- I was naive. I knew that sleep deprivation was about to come, but had no idea what sleep deprivation really meant. I knew that she would cry, but had no idea she would cry so much it would bring me to tears. I knew she would challenge and convict me, but I had no idea how often I would fall to my knees begging for the Lords guidance and wisdom. Mostly--- I knew that I would love her, but had no idea the depth and impact of that love.

This time around I feel a little more nervous, a lot more anxious to find out the gender, but just as excited. Last night, I laid in bed, wishing I was sleeping. Instead I was listening to my daughter screaming calling for me from her crib. Our separation anxiety has hit an all time high--- those who say kids can’t perceive when another baby is coming, you have not yet met my daughter. Anyways, after three hours when we get her back to sleep--- Baby B decides that’s the perfect opportunity to run a marathon. It became real. It became real that from here on out--- sleep is something that may or more likely, may not happen.

However I could not be more excited to experience a whole new realm of  sleep deprivation. I know this will be a transition for Hannah and myself, but I could not be more excited for that either. Although separating and sharing mommy will be hard--- there is no doubt in my mind that Hannah is going to be an amazing big sister. She loves babies; feeding them, sharing with them, giving them kisses and hugs--- her sweet and loving spirit melts my heart.

So I guess to conclude this mish-mosh of thoughts and emotions, all I can say is that it’s all becoming real. The excitement is real. The nervousness is real. The fear is real. The love is real.

Here are some pictures my sister took for me a little over a week ago---

I love my two littles more then they will ever know!