starts with me

I got up early and went for a run this morning, as I ran, I listened to the same song multiple times in a row--- it was speaking to me today. In the cold crisp air, it gave me clarity.

As a parent, we have a lot of responsibility. Our main role to impart knowledge, wisdom and morals to our children--- and sometimes that can be a little scary. Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed, a little inadequate, and a lot too small. I want to grow up children who will change the world, who will love others well, and who will serve with all their heart. But where does that start?

Starts with me.

“What could I do to leave a legacy?
How can I speak with authority
When I can't see you, I can't see you
How can I know the dreams you have for me?
How can I believe beyond what I have seen?
When I can't hear you, I can't feel you now
No, no, no
(Chorus)
You're my revival song, you start where I belong
On my knees, on my knees
When I am weak You're strong you meet me here
When I'm on my knees, on my knees
Oh, it starts with me
Why do I try to work outside of you?
Knocking down doors I should be going through
But I'm so tired, I'm so tired
You take my burdens off of my shoulders
You break the lies that hold me back
I'm not sure enough
(Chorus)
I really wanna change the world
I really wanna save your soul
But I know revival's got to start with me
I really wanna change the world
I really wanna sing Your song
But I know revival's got to start with me
(Chorus)” –tim timmons

Let me continue on, I am not anywhere near perfect. In fact I have lots to work on.

We were invited to go pick fruit with friends today, and we jumped at the offer. We have amazing friends, we are truly blessed by our friends. After my morning of contemplation, I was so encouraged by this outing. Walking through the orchard with other mommies and their little ones, my heart was stirred once again. There were rows, upon rows of fruit--- fruit in the trees, fruit on the ground, under ripe fruit, rotted fruit, perfect fruit. You know what, God uses it all. The rotten fruit on the ground, it helps the soil. The perfect fruit, it is soooo tasty. And the under ripe fruit, well that waits its turn and continues to mature.

That’s my job, to be fruitful (and no, not just in the multiplying sense). But to use my gifts and my life to live in the Lord. And with that, the Lord will use me--- all of me. Of course God will uses moments of strength. The moments when I model how to share, show my children how to love and serve others, or teach them about God’s purpose for their lives---He will use that. Although, I now reminded that even my weak moments, my imperfections, my failings--- He will use those too. He will use those to grow my children, to teach them that we are all sinners. All in need of a savior. He will use those moments to show my children how to apologize, how to ask for forgiveness and how to forgive.

So mommies out there--- be encouraged. God uses all fruit. Continue growing, continue maturing, continue praying, continue reading because it does “start with you”. But find peace in the fact that God can use every ounce of you, to help your children. The rotten, the perfect and the not yet perfect--- he can and will use it all.

Thanks Smith’s for the generosity of your orchard and the peace I obtained while being there. Thanks Barron’s for your friendship. We are blessed.

am I alone--- or is she seriously the cutest